Mechanical
by Ms.Galaxy
Summary: Love triangles? They're such a cliche and so late '90's. Two polar opposite boys fighting for the love of one girl. But how bout this, the girl is an inspiring scientist, and not a girl at all, but instead Kyle Broflovski. And the two men fighting for him? The polar opposites? They're more alike than they can disagree.
1. Morning Intamacy

Kyle shivered under the covers, he tossed and turned until he began moving closer to Cartman. The heat radiating from Cartman's body was all too welcoming for Kyle, as he moved closer to him until their chests touched. He looked up at Cartman's sleeping face and took in every detail of his features and every breath he inhaled. He gave him a small smile before burying his face into Cartman's neck, he breathed in the aroma of fresh bread and...cheesy poofs. Kyle mentally rolled his eyes as he brought his fingers to trace Cartman's large chest. Cartman always slept with only his red boxers, and that was fine by Kyle. He slowly brushed his fingers against Cartman's skin, slowly taking in every Inch.  
The alarm clock on Kyle's phone vibrated against the nightstand, it invaded the rooms' silence with the soft piano song, _Für Elise._ Over the years, his sleeping became more and more light. Anything could wake the ginger man up, even soft footsteps. Kyle sighed and detached himself away from Cartman to turn off the alarm clock. He glanced at the digital numbers on his phone, _6:15_. Kyle blinked as his eyes adjusted to the brightness. He turned off his phone and placed it on the nightstand before slowly getting off the bed, careful not to wake up his sleeping boyfriend. Once his bare feet stood on the cold floor, he walked over to the bathroom next to the bedroom.  
He peeled off his clothes and took a long hot steaming shower, his spine shivered in pleasure.  
Once he was done with his shower, he wrapped his green towel around his waist and picked up his pajamas and walked into the bedroom. He glanced at the sleeping body under the covers, as always, he was sleeping like a rock. Kyle dropped his clothes into a white hamper and began putting on the clothes he picked out from last night; grey briefs, a white button down collared shirt, black dress pants, a black tie with grey stripes, and a lab coat thrown over. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, his fire engine Afro had gotten better over the years. It was short and curly, and he had cut it into a low sitting fringe. Still, it didn't stop him from running a hand through his hair. He was always self conscious of his hair, no matter how many times people say it's gotten better. He finally pried his eyes off his reflection and onto the bottom drawer, he opened it and took out a bundle of black ankle socks and slipped it on and then slipped on his black dress shoes. He kneeled down to roll up his pants and made a mental note to take his jeans to a tailor. He nearly froze when the voice of his lover spoke.  
"You don't have to go to work, ya know." Cartman sat up and adjusted his eyes to the brightness coming from the window next to him. He looked adorable, sitting up with messy and disheveled brown locks and faint bags under his eyes from his irregular sleeping schedule.  
Kyle scoffed, "Of course I do. Besides, there's going to be an important meeting today." He said as he stood up and rolled up the sleeves to his lab coat, "You remember Dr. Alphonse Mephesto, right?"  
Cartman nearly jolted at the name, "He's still alive?"  
Kyle scowled at him as he fixed his tie, "Yes, he is. And he's going to assist Stan and I on finding the cure for hemophilia."  
"But isn't he like," Cartman thought for a second, "Into genetic engineering and shit?"  
"Of course, but for the past 3 years he has been studying medicine and Stan and I both agree that his knowledge on genetic engineering could potentially help us find a cure that could permanently eliminate the illness." He paused and looked at Cartman who looked uninterested.  
"Jesus, but can't Stan talk to him by himself?"  
" _Eric_." Kyle warned.  
Cartman leaned back into the head post of the bed, "I'm gonna be bored all day."  
Kyle grabbed his watch from his nightstand, he adjusted it onto his wrist and turned it on. "I created an agenda for you."  
Cartman fought back the urge to groan, "And what might I have to do today, ?" He asked, sarcastically.  
"Well for starters," Kyle watched as the hologram from his watch began forming. With a few clicks, he opened up a reminders checklist, he read the first few bullet points, "Today is Clyde's birthday."  
Cartman groaned.  
"There's a new video game coming out today, too, so you could buy him that."  
"I'm not spending $60 on him."  
"He's your brother."  
" _Step_." Cartman added.  
Kyle skimmed through the rest of the bullet points, "At 2:30 you have to meet up with Kenny to watch the Denver Nuggets."  
"Fuck, that's today?"  
Kyle nodded as he turned off his watch, the hologram powered off and the watch became a regular watch, it read _6:32_. "I have to leave in about 20 minutes, what do you want to eat?"  
Cartman thought for a second, "Don't worry about it, babe. Kenny and I'll just pick something up on the way to the game." He straightened up and raised his arms out to him, "How bout a hug, though?"  
Kyle stared at him, "A hug?" It was a rare occasion for them to ever hug, they just never found the need to. They've been inseparable for years, even before their romantic relationship began forming. They've cuddled nearly everyday, but hugging was an ultra rare action for them.  
Cartman nodded, "I heard its good luck." His soft pink lips stretched into a smile. He has plump pink lips, that would even make Kylie Jenner jealous. And Kyle loved them, hell, he loved every inch of Cartman. To the light brown, but nearly pink,locks all the way down to his baby soft feet. (Cartman in general was a walking blanket for him, soft and warm and so protecting) But his lips were his favorite, because they fit so perfectly with his and created a soft cushion for Kyle's thin ones.  
Kyle cautiously stepped over next to Cartman and hugged his neck as Cartman wrapped his arms around his waist. They were both relaxed, and not a single tension in their muscles ached. They stayed like that for 2 seconds before Cartman moved his hand down to the back of Kyle's thigh and propped his thigh over his own so that he'd end up straddling him.  
Kyle pulled away, " _Dude_." Their noses was inches apart as dark brown eyes met with his dark emerald green eyes.  
"Cmon, ," He brushed his plump lips on Kyle's, "Your clothes are such a turn on." He didn't close the gap for him, for he loved teasing Kyle when it came to kissing. Because kissing was passionate and light, nothing like the radiating sensation of being touched. Although touch was a passionate thing for the two boys, it was also very controlling. They didn't think when they touched, they were urged by the need that came along with it. Touching brought pleasures that they've never even knew they had, sweet and toxicated pleasures that would make any nun get a heartattack.  
Kyle exhaled a small breath, he lightly bit the bottom of his lip as his eyes searched Cartman's lips. He was never in control when he and Cartman made contact, not in the way that Cartman was dominating, because that was far from the truth, but because every spasm in his muscles jolted. He was always filled with an overwhelming dosage of excitement, there were too many times where they were this close and Kyle felt so much like Tweek. His hands had a mind of his own, and he never thought when he was this close, his mind wasn't blank either. His mind sent commanded every body part of him to move and explore every inch of Cartman's round and squishy physique.  
He couldn't pretend to control his urge when he pressed their lips together softly, the warmth from Cartman's lips were somehow sending grand pleasures all over Kyle's body. He felt like he was being wrapped into a hug by those big pink arms, he felt like Cartman was kissing every inch of his body when in reality, Cartman was kissing his thin perfect lips.  
Cartman slipped his wet pink tongue inside Kyle's mouth, to which Kyle responded with a flutter close to his eyes as he inched forward towards the beautiful man in front of him. He opened his mouth, slightly for better entrance.  
When their tongues met, Kyle could feel the familiar urge between his thighs. His pants were so goddamn tight, as they squeezed every single circulation in Kyle. It was paining Kyle to this point. The urge to just rip off his pants and devour every secret inch of Cartman, the inches only he ever had access to.  
But fuck, this meeting was incredibly importing. He desperately wanted to cancel and just stay here in bed. It wasn't such a bad idea, Stan would be there either way and give Mephisto all the details. There wasn't really a great need to have them both there.  
He furrowed his eyebrows, because all though he loved Cartman he couldn't just throw away his career like that. Stan wouldn't know the right words to stay, especially since he's going through his parents sudden divorce and the stress of tidying up his apartment for the well over high maintained Heidi.  
Kyle slowly pulled away, " _Cartman_." He felt Cartman's bulge through his boxers as he fought for his to stay calm.  
Cartman moved his lips on to Kyle's soft pale neck, he began nibbling on the flesh. "C'mon babe," He mumbled into his skin as his hands found their way on to Kyle's back. He moved it under the layer of clothes and slowly traced his finger nails on his skin in slow circles.  
There was a shock of excitement as Kyle moaned, softly, as his hand lingered down to Cartman's boxers. He was semi hard, which only made Kyle's own cock twitch with anticipation.  
Cartman placed his chubby hand onto Kyle's, Kyle's hand was still warm from the shower. He guided Kyle's hand up his thigh and finally under his tight boxers. His cock was practically beating heavily against his hand.  
Kyle wrapped his small hand on Cartman's thick cock, since Cartman was thick Kyle's could barely wrap around half of it. He moved his hand, slowly, taking in each centimeter of his boyfriend's member.  
Cartman moaned as he placed his hand on Kyle's slim thigh and squeezed.  
Kyle leaned in close to him, he placed a small kiss on his lips before trailing down to his jaw. Meanwhile, his pace on Cartman quickened as he felt the precum drip through his fingers.  
Cartman groaned, lowly, as his hand that was under Kyle's clothes, moved down to his ass, where he gave him a firm squeeze.  
Their bedroom door was slammed open and Cartman and Kyle both jolted before looking to see who caused the action.  
The ravenette hippie stepped into the bedroom, "The car-" his voice died as he stared at the two men who looked equally flustered and pissed off.  
Cartman desperately wanted to groan or yell, just react. But his eyes were glued to Stan and his mouth was sealed shut. One question repeated itself over and over again in his brain.  
Kyle turned to him, a nervous smile lingered through his lips as he quickly stumbled out of Cartman's grasp. "Hey, dude." He said trying to force a calm tone, "I-uh- didn't think you'd come in."  
Stan glanced at Cartman before resting his gaze on Kyle, "Yea, well, I had to park the car a few blocks away and I was gonna call you to tell you, but my phone died." He shifted his weight between his feet, "So...yea."  
Kyle forced a smile, he felt the blood rushing to his cheeks as his heart pounded through his rib cage.  
Cartman glared at Stan, which didn't help the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room.  
Kyle ran a hand through his hair, uncaring whether he'd mess it up, "Well, let's go then, Dr. Alphonse Mephesto doesn't have a lot of patience." He tried to make it seem funny but it came out too fast and too forceful.  
"Um." A small faint of red brushed through Stan's cheeks, "Just, uh... _tent_." He said, taking a quick glance at the noticeable bulge in Kyle's pants.  
Kyle tilted his head, "Huh?"  
Cartman knew this was his cue, he wrapped his hands on Kyle's waist and pulled him back slowly, "Don't worry I'll take care of it, Marsh." He said as he buried his face in the crook of Kyle's neck and began kissing. He knew this was Kyle's weakness, even a small brush of his lips to Kyle's neck sent Kyle shivering with pleasure. It wasn't hard getting Kyle to shake and moan his name.  
Kyle felt his knees buckle as he clutched Cartman's soft and pudgy hands, "I- I'll meet you outside."  
Stan nodded as he shut the door behind him.  
Kyle groaned, and it wasn't his usual pissed off groan or embarrassed groan, but the groan he made every time Cartman touched him. Kyle turned around and cupped Cartman's jaw in his hands, "You couldn't wait a few seconds more?" He murmured into his skin as he placed soft kisses on the corners of his lips.  
Cartman lifted Kyle up so he'd be straddling him, "I want you." He said as he trailed his hand down from Kyle's waist to the button on his pants. He paused and pulled away from Kyle to look at him, "By the way, why does Stan have a key to our house?"  
"In case of an emergency."  
" _Emergency_?"  
" _Yes_."  
Cartman furrowed his eyebrows and sat up, "Like what kind of emergency?"  
Kyle scoffed, "Any kind, I guess."  
Cartman thought for a moment as he frowned, "He doesn't have to pick you up. We have our own cars, you can drive there yourself without that dirty hippie."  
Kyle rolled his eyes and buried his face into Cartman's neck, "Stan believes in global warming." Kyle mumbled into his skin as he gave a soft lick and a series of tiny nibbles.  
"Fucking hippie." Cartman grumbled as he moved his hand down to cup Kyle's ass.  
He moved away from Cartman's face to get a better look at him, "Anyways, can you please make _this_ quick? I have a meeting, remember?"  
Cartman nodded, "It'll take less than a minute."  
Kyle moved away from Cartman and propped himself on his knees. He was about to unbutton his pants until Cartman got a hold on it first.  
Cartman leaned towards Kyle and swiftly unbuttoned his pants. He pulled his pants down in a quick motion, his eyes mesmerizing the erection under the tight grey briefs.  
Kyle looked away, the blood rushed up to his cheeks and ears and he could already tell it was heavy. Cartman blew him over a thousand times but he never failed to make Kyle blush or calm his racing heart.  
Cartman pulled down the briefs with one finger, Kyle's erection sprang the second it made contact with the air. Cartman grinned and held it with his one hand and slowly moved up and down his shaft.  
Kyle breathed heavily as he looked down to a smiling Cartman.  
Cartman's pace quickened, the precum leaked down his pudgy fingers. He brought his face close and licked the mess away, his wet hot tongue sent shivers of pleasure down Kyle's spine. Once he cleaned up the mess, he traced his tongue down from Kyle's shaft to his balls.  
Kyle breath quickened, this was new. He placed his hand on Cartman's soft hair. He clutched the soft feather like brown hair as he watched Cartman nibble his balls. He felt the familiar feeling and squeezed one eye shut, "I'm gon-"  
Cartman quickly placed his mouth over Kyle's cock, the warm liquid shot in his mouth, he swallowed it without hesitation.  
Kyle bit his bottom lip as he watched Cartman move his mouth from his cock. "Thanks, man." He said as he pulled up his briefs and then pants.  
"No problem." He brushed off the tiny speck of cum on the corner of his lips.  
Kyle smiled and kneeled towards Cartman's boxers, he was about to place his hands on him until Cartman grabbed a hold of his wrists.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Returning the favor."  
"You're gonna be late for the meeting."  
Kyle raised his eyebrows and sat up once Cartman released his grip. "Right." He hopped off the bed and fixed his pants, "It really isn't a problem, Cartman, I'm sure Stan can wait a few more minutes."  
Cartman smiled at the shy tone of his boyfriend, "Nah, man, it's no problem. Besides, I'm meeting up with Kenny, anyways."  
Kyle huffed, it wasn't really much of a secret that Cartman lost his virginity to Kenny at the tender age of 13. It also wasn't a secret that nearly everyday since then they've fucked like two caged crack rabbits. The only reason why they finally stopped was because Cartman had started falling in love with Kyle in their senior year of high school. "Dude." Kyle warned as he glared at Cartman.  
Cartman lifted up his hands in defense, "Kidding." He rested his hands in his lap and gave Kyle his most boyish smile, Kyle's heart fluttered at the sight.  
"Well I have to go." He paused, "I also bought that peppermint tea you really like last night."  
Cartman's face brightened, "Really?"  
Kyle nodded, "I left it on the kitchen counter." He stepped closer to Cartman and kissed him. It wasn't their usual sloppy and forceful kisses, but instead it was full of tender and passion.  
Cartman kissed back, he enjoyed every millisecond of their lips being in contact.  
Kyle finally found the willpower to pull away. He gave Cartman a sweet smile and pecked his lips. "Call me the second you come home."  
Cartman scoffed, "Okay, mom."  
Kyle smiled again and pecked his lips once more before leaving the room.  
Cartman collapsed on the bed as he stared at the ceiling fan. He should call Kenny to hang out, to find a gift for Clyde. But he had an intense urge to just skip the birthday all together. He didn't feel like pretending to be in a festive mood for his step brother, nor did he feel like watching his mom get slobbered over Clyde's dad. Jesus, they kissed like no one was watching. But, in a way, Cartman liked that. Sure, it was gross to watch, but he liked the way they showed passion for each other no matter what's going on around them. He liked that they were so in love with each other that the world around them was invisible and the only thing left in this empty universe was each other. He wanted a love like that, hell, he has a love like that.  
Cartman turned in his bed when his phone rang, he picked it up from his nightstand and pressed accept, too groggy to see who called. "Hello?" He groaned into the phone.  
"Did you just have sex?" A voice said in the phone, it was the same soft voice that he'd always grew up with. The same voice that was always by his side through thick and thin. The same voice that mimicked Kyle's, but it was much more softer. The same voice that was able to go deeper for long periods of time, and gave him such a huge turn on though he'd never admit it.  
"Sorta." Cartman rubbed his eyes and laid on his stomach. "What do you want?"  
"Jesus, I can't even say hi to my best friend now?"  
"You didn't say hi, you asked if I had sex."  
"Did you?"  
"Sorta." Cartman's temper was rising, it was too god damn early to have these pointless conversations with Kenny.  
Kenny hummed in the phone for a few seconds before talking, "What does that mean?"  
"I blew him off." Cartman heard a creak in the other line, he suspected that Kenny was moving on his shitty twin bed.  
"Give me the details." His voice was low, he tried to mimic Mysterion's voice but because of puberty, it was lower than he'd wanted. It didn't change the sexiness in his tone though, it just added to it.  
" _Why_?"  
"I'm horny, dude."  
Cartman brought the phone off his ear and stared at it for a second before hitting the end call. He placed his phone next to his stomach and began drifting off to sleep until his phone buzzed and a ringtone began playing of Lady Gaga's Poker Face. He grumbled as he answered the call, "what?"  
"Why'd you hung up?"  
"I'm not having phone sex with you, Kenny." Cartman dead panned.  
"I didn't want to have phone sex." The creak of his bed was audible enough for Cartman to hear, "Okay, maybe I do."  
He scoffed, "Dude, jack off to some internet porno or some shit."  
"...I can't." Kenny's voice was quiet and soft, barely audible for Cartman to hear,  
"Why not?"  
"...mmf mf m-"  
" _What_?" Kenny hasn't worn his usual orange parka in three years, he could barely understand the language Kenny spoke into his parka.  
"...you're gonna laugh at me."  
" I promise I won't."  
"I know you, Cartman."  
"You white trash hillbilly, just tell me."  
"Alright alright alright." He took a deep breath in before speaking, "Craig put parental control on my phone."  
The phone line was dead and Kenny was sure Cartman hung up on him until he heard the snicker of the fat boy turn into a laughing fit. Cartman never had a charming laugh, but as the years went by his laugh turned into a sound you'd hear when trying to spray windex but nothing would come out. Kenny laughed along because Cartman's laughs were that funny.  
"What the _fuck_." Cartman rubbed the forming tears in his eyes, he tried to even his breaths out but it didn't take long for him to cackle back into his fit of laughter.  
Kenny rolled his eyes as he chuckled, "Yea yea pretty fucking funny."  
"Dude, just disable it."  
"If I do it's going to send it straight to Craig's email." Kenny banged his head on the headboard of his bed. "I'm going in two weeks strong." He paused before speaking, "Please..,could we just-"  
"No."  
Kenny huffed in frustration, "Fine. Can you just convince your brother to give me a hand job or something?"  
Cartman thought for a minute, it wouldn't be too difficult to convince Clyde to pleasure Kenny. He knew Clyde was a sucker for blondes and he caught him staring at Kenny once or twice before. The only problem was that Cartman was sure Clyde was a 100% straight. But, he was very gullible, he was near the same level as Butters, the only reason why he could rarely ever trick Clyde into doing something he wanted was because Craig was always at his side, ready to call bullshit. Thankfully, Clyde was going to have two parties. The first one starts at 12, and it'll only be family members, just him, Clyde, Clyde's dad, and his mom. He's pretty sure he could squeeze Kenny in though, considering the second Clyde's and his dad moved in with him and his mom, Kenny basically stayed at the house nearly every day. Mainly to bug Cartman full time about his new step brother. The second party is going to be at his house, he's gonna have alcohol and a few exotic drugs and invited nearly the whole town. He knows for sure Kenny's gonna be there and he also knows damn well he's not coming. He prefers laying down with Kyle on their bed, watching corny movies and commenting on how dumb it is, all while eating pizza and lazily kissing.  
"I'll see what I can do. But it's not gonna be much, I mean, we're not kids anymore."  
The line stayed silent until Kenny spoke in unison, "Holy shit, dude, you're so fucking right." He paused and stared at the light brown ceiling above him, "We're all 20-fucking-8 years old."  
"Mmhm, 7 years away from being president." Cartman mind began flashing images of him in the White House, his feet kicked up on a desk as Kenny and Stan came into view in their black tuxedos, asking if he needed anything. And just as he shooed them away, Kyle's slim body slid through the small gape of the door. When Kenny and Stan took a step outside the room he slammed the door shut and began taking off each piece of clothing, slowly, while his eyes undressed Cartman. Cartman would put his feet down and stare at the red headed beauty that never seemed to fail at keeping him preoccupied. The redhead would place his small dainty little hands on Cartman's legs and trail his soft pink lips on Cartman's jaw line as he began to get on his knees and unbuckle his belt, treasuring the sight of Cartman starting to get hard. And once the belt was unbuckled, he'd unbutton his scruffy pants and pull down his fly. He'd timidly pet the monster contained under his blue boxers until he finally pulled the waistband of his box-  
"...Cartman?"  
Cartman snapped back into reality and mentally groaned as he saw himself starting to leak. Phone sex didn't seem so bad, it could definitely do the trick. But he bit his bottom lip and fought the urge to participate. "Get ready."  
"It's still too early to get ready for the game, Cartman."  
"Not that, today's Clyde's birthday and I need you to help me buy him a gift."  
"Okay."  
Cartman hung up as quickly as he could and rushed to the bathroom. He spent a nice long hour under the steam and hot water from the shower.


	2. A relationship without a connection

Stan changed every station from the radio, hoping he'd find something that didn't sound like someone was shitting on a mic.  
"I'll change it." Kyle said as he swatted Stan's hand away from the station, "Focus on driving, dude."  
Stan rested his elbow on the car door as his hand roamed a small part of his scalp, "I'm sorry, man, I've just been a little off today."  
"Need me to drive?" Kyle asked as he searched for his favorite station. When he found it a song began playing. It had a catchy tune and a girl was rapping before giggling and saying something slick about some guy she's talking to. "I like this." Kyle stated, "What about you?"  
"Dude, do you seriously not hear a guy taking a dump?"  
Kyle forced himself to remain calm as he searched for a different station, it began playing the hook of the song _Cotton Eye Joe._ "This?"  
Stan looked in disgust at the radio, "Ugh, gross, dude."  
Kyle exhaled his breath, "Pull over."  
"What- dude we're in the middle of the-."  
" _Now_."  
Stan pulled over the car next to a stop sign. "What now?"  
Kyle opened up the glove compartment, there were about three wrinkly playboy magazines and a bottle of white rum with two shot glasses.  
Stan blushed at his secret belongings being out in the open. He's never opened it in front of anyone-not even Kyle.  
Kyle took out a shot glass and the white rum and began pouring into it until it was half full. He handed it to Stan, "I'm driving." He said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out the car.  
Stan mimicked his actions without complaint.  
Once the boys were seated in their new seats, Stan began to drink the alcohol, "Why'd you give me this?" He asked, twirling the cup slightly to see the alcohol move. "Not that I'm complaining."  
Kyle began driving, "If Mephesto sees you like this, it's not going to end well for our careers." He changed the station and the song _Gangsta_ began playing.  
Stan hummed to the beat of the music, taking more sips of his alcohol.  
"By the way, don't get anymore when you finish. I don't want you to be full on drunk."  
Stan nodded, "How'd you know I had it in there?"  
Kyle smiled without looking at Stan, "You don't even know how many times you got fucked up and began showing off your collection of pornos."  
Stan blushed, well that explained it. He sighed as he kicked up his feet, "You gotta admit, I got the best mags out there."  
Kyle chuckled, "Why do you even need it when you have Heidi?"  
Stan shrugged, "She could be a bitch sometimes and want to hold things against me." He looked up at the car roof and squinted, "That's the only thing she has in common with Wendy."  
Kyle knew that in the next three seconds, he's going to start blabbing about Wendy. Jesus, it's been 2 goddamn months since she left him. He knew he shouldn't just give Stan a blind eye when he talks about Wendy, but god damn it it wasn't like they actually cared about each other. Even since dating from Elementary they didn't have a single thing in common, they barely even knew anything about each other. The only reason why they were together was because they were secretly afraid of ending up alone. They were nothing but accessories to each other. Besides, Wendy jumped out of her relationship with him as soon as a boy started taking interest in her politic views. He remembered the first time Token and her dated, he even remembered Stan crying on his shoulder when he found out Token popped Wendy's cherry. He remembered that when Cartman set him and Nichole back together, Wendy ran back to Stan.  
"She's a fucking bitch, dude, I swear." He takes a quick gulp of his drink, finishing the shot gloss. He scoffed at it before closing his eyes and facing his face to the ceiling. "She fucking broke up with me on text." He scoffed, and Kyle could notice the tears streaming down the corners of his eyes, "Who the fuck does that?" His voice cracked.  
Kyle glanced at Stan but kept his mouth shut, Stan didn't need advice. He just needed someone who would listen.  
"Fucking _'I'm going to California, I don't do long relationships_!' Fuck her, dude." He shook his his head and brought his hand to his face as to cover it. He abandoned the shot gloss on the floor of his car. "I would've done it for her! I would've fucking moved there for her." He swiftly opened up the glove compartment and took out the half empty white rum, he opened it and took a swing, ignoring his burning throat.  
"You have Heidi now." Kyle said as he nudged Stan, "Drinking only numbs the pain temporarily."  
Stan moved the bottle away from his lips slowly and stared down at its haunting white liquid. He sighed before twisting the cap back on and shoving it back inside the glove compartment. He laid back, "How do you do it?" He asked, avoiding Kyle's curious quick gaze.  
"Do what?"  
"How do you continue living when the love of your life fucking abandons you?"  
Kyle thought for a second, testing each option he could say. Finally, he spoke, "You find comfort and condolences in people who have stayed there from the beginning."  
Stan looks at him and Kyle meets his gaze with a smile.  
"Your parents are still here, so is Shelly. Cartman, Kenny, and I have been with you since we were all in diapers. And we're not leaving."  
Stan smiled at him with tears in his eyes, "Dude, I actually think I'm gonna cry." He said, wiping his eye.  
"Let it out, dude."  
Stan chuckled lowly before letting his tears fall freely down his cheeks, "I bet I look like a pussy."  
Kyle shrugged, "Better than being a cynical asshole."  
The last noise they heard before parking outside the marble building was Stan's laughter.


	3. Sweet Pasts

Walking into his somewhat old house was weird. And it wasn't because he hasn't visited enough but more because of the fact that it's changed so much since his mom got married. The portrait of his mom and him above the couch had been replaced with a picture of her and Roger, both in swimsuits and hugging while he and Clyde we arguing in the background. Come to think of it, he didn't remember much about why they were fighting but he does remember Kyle's name being constantly hissed out by Clyde. He also remembered that right after, they took Clyde to the ER for his broken nose.

The wallpaper was changed from an olive green to a soft sky blue, and there were three nightstands. To the left of their beige couch was a black nightstand filled with various pictures of Cartman. Some of him as a pudgy baby and others as him dressed like a nazi. Other than those pictures, it was mainly just him and the gang. It was all off guards (a majority of them had Kyle and Cartman in the background arguing) except for one which was just a picture of them flipping off their elementary school. ...he still didn't understand why his mom framed the picture and put in the center of the nightstand.

The second nightstand that was located to the right of the couch were pictures of Clyde. It was mainly pictures of him and Craig in either matching astronaut outfits or just them sitting around the lawn. The one that caught Cartman's eyes the most was a Halloween one, where Clyde dressed up as a taco and forced Craig to dress up like a hot dog. To be honest, Cartman didn't notice the picture because of their bizarre outfits but,instead, the background. It had a visible sight of Cartman and Kyle laughing at them, in their DC costumes, while Kenny opened up a Playboy mag and shared it with Stan. That was a photographed moment of when sparks started flying between Cartman and Kyle. He remembered it vividly because his heart was throbbing each time Kyle touched him. It was funny, because when he came home he told Liane to take him to the hospital because he thought something was wrong with him. The aching in his heart was painful, and he was sure he was going to die. Liane laughed when she recognized the problem. She sat him on the couch and they talked for the whole night while sipping peppermint tea.

Before he could react, Liane tackled him into a tight hug.

"Hello, poopsykins!" She said, in her usual soft and cheerful voice.

Cartman struggled to breathe as he awkwardly patted his mother's back, "Hi, mom."

She released his grip before planting a kiss on his cheek. Then attacking his cheek with multiple kisses.

Cartman winced but didn't move away. "Where's Clyde?" He asked when she released his grip on him.

"He's in the kitchen with his father." She looked behind him and frowned, "You didn't bring Kenneth?" Liane always had a soft spot for the perverted golden haired boy. Mainly because it was such a relief to having a helping hand around the house and she adored those near rare moments when he'd fall asleep on Cartman's chest on the couch after binge playing a video game. She loved seeing them together, and loved seeing how every time he would make a perverted joke about Last Night, Eric would get so flustered. It was rare seeing her son so happy about him, and she wished she'd photograph the moments when she'd run into Kenny and asked if he'd like to sleep over. Because the ways Kenny's eyes twinkled were so pure, so innocent, that she couldn't believe Eric had been friends with him for such a long time. He never did sleep on the couch, nor the guest room. He slept with Eric every time, cuddled into his chest and sleeping so soundly.

So it definitely was a surprise when Eric brought Kyle home instead of Kenny. Slowly, Kennys visits were decreasing, but Eric had gotten much happier each time he was with Kyle. She didn't understand it, at first, because they both had a history of violence towards each other. But she found it sweet that they were able to work things out and change their relationship for the better. Kyle was the better choice for Eric anyways, he was hardworking and financially stable, and would make Eric all flustered just by being touched. She knew he liked him, that was why when they were kids, Eric would go on and on about how much he hated Kyle. He was too young to identify a crush, so he played it out as if Kyle was his enemy. It was refreshing to see Kyle and Eric all cuddled up, not saying a word of argument. While Kyle was the obvious and better choice for Eric, she would always prefer Kenny.

Cartman nodded, "He's parking the car." He said, he made his way over to the kitchen where Roger sat in the chairs, sipping something that looked like scotch while talking to Clyde who leaned over the kitchen counter.

Clyde immediately noticed Cartman and gave him a warm smile, "Hey, dude."

Cartman gave him a half smile before picking up a small cup and pouring himself the opened scotch bottle.

"Eric," Roger started, "How are your studies?"

Cartman shrugged as he took a sip, "Pretty good. I'm getting my marketing degree this semester." The alcohol burned his throat, and he was suddenly reminded of why he never drank. Seriously, it tasted like Satan's piss.

"Really?" He fixed his glasses, "I had no idea you were so close to getting your own business."

Cartman shrugged, "It's nothing." He looked at Clyde, "How's the hoe?"

Roger grunted disapprovingly as Clyde scowled.

"We broke up." He shrugged as he took gulp of his drink. He winced at the pain but forced himself not to gag.

Cartman snickered, "Weren't you planning to marry her? What happened?" Cartman would never be old enough to abandon his attitude. He'd rather be known as an asshole rather than a pussy.

Clyde nudged his arm, "Fuck off."

"Seriously, what happened?"

Clyde shrugged, "She wasn't... the one,you know?"

Cartman rolled his eyes, Jesus even by his tone you could tell he was lying, "Bullshit, what really happened?"

Clyde blushed as he looked away, "She was with Jason."

"Okay...what was she doing with him?"

Clyde casted him a glare. He was about to speak until Liane called for Roger.

Roger waved at the boys as he left the room to meet up with Liane.

Clyde watched him leave, eager to change the subject on his former girlfriend, he began talking, "So, how's Kyle?"

"Pretty good."

"Is the sex hot?" Clyde grinned at him and expected a nudge but was surprised when Cartman gave him a goofy smile.

"You don't know the half of it."

They shared a small laugh before gazing at each other's features. Clyde didn't look that much different from when they were younger, he still had the same chubby cheeks and dark brown eyes that were always welcoming. He also never grew tired of his messy hair do, nor did he ever grow tired of his letterman jackets. (No matter how many times Cartman told him they weren't teenagers anymore) he was still pudgy, but Liane always told him that's what made his hugs the best. He wasn't a crybaby anymore, he only cried when he needed too. But Cartman would always agree he's a pussy for showing his emotional side. Jesus, all sides of Clyde were emotional. But, he was glad he didn't turn out like those goths that hung out at the sidewalks of the school.

As for Cartman, he was still fat. But he was tall and he did have broad shoulders so that made up for it. He still has those menacing dark brown eyes and the soft subtle blush to his cheeks, but he dressed way differently than when he was a kid. He wore black button down shirts now, with brown jeans and a brown leather jacket thrown over it. He did grow a well shaved stubble and his brown hair was either messy or combed back, but it was mainly slicked back.

The boys turned their attentions to the blonde boy that walked in with a scruffy orange hoodie and a crappy wrapped gift. He waved at Clyde, "Happy Birthday."

Clyde walked over to him and gave him a firm hug. When they separated, Kenny handed Clyde his gift.

Clyde accepted it and scanned the gift, "What's this?"

"A gift-"

"A video game." Cartman interrupted, he picked up his glass and handed it over to Kenny, "Here-I'm not much of a drinker."

Kenny accepted it and took a swing, he winced as he laughed, "Strong as hell."

Clyde nodded and took a small sip of his.

The blonde man clapped his hand on Clyde's shoulder, "How's it feel to be 28?"

He shrugged, "I feel like an old man."

Kenny smiled and took another swing of his drink, "Ready for marriage?"

Clyde dropped his head as he twirled his finger around the lips of his cup.

Kenny glanced at the suddenly saddened man and looked at Cartman, he mouthed the words, "Breakup?"

Cartman nodded, he smiled at Kenny, "How's that marriage with Craig going for you?"

Kenny raised his eyebrows for a split second, "Pretty good. He's kinda being a dick to me but other than that, it's been pretty good."

Clyde nervously chuckled, "Jesus, it seems like all our friends are nearly halfway through their life." He settled his drink down in the counter and presumed to lean against it, "You and Craig are married, so is Token and Nichole. Hell, even Jimmy is married, and so is Timmy." He shook his head, "How long till I find my wife?"

Kenny and Cartman glanced at each other, unsure of what to say to the obviously saddened boy.

"Jesus, dude, you're only 28, you're not that old." He leaned into the counter and his brown eyes met Clyde's, "Fuck shit up while you still can. What's that saying you always said, Kenny?"

It took Kenny a moment to make up some stupid quote, "Fuck as many silly bitches as you can until you need to use viagra?"

Cartman chuckled and nodded, he glanced at Clyde and nearly sighed in relief to see he was smiling and giggling.

"What about you Cartman?"

Cartman furrowed his eyebrows at Kenny's sudden question, "What?"

"You planning on fucking as many silly bitches as you can?"

"No," he said, without hesitation, "I'm with Kyle." He paused and stared at the lint on his jeans, "You dickheads better not tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

Kenny and Clyde straightened up as their ears perked and they watched the movements of Cartman.

Cartman picked up his head and glanced at Kenny and Clyde, he exhaled as he straightened up too, and looked between the two boys. He leaned forward and almost said in a whisper, "I'm planning on buying whips and chains for the bedroom."

Clyde and Kenny looked at each other and chortled before laughing.

"Dude, I thought it was serious!" Kenny said as he drank down the remaining liquid in his cup and began gagging.

Clyde and Cartman began laughing at the others misfortune.

Kenny flipped them off while managing a grin as the liquid from the alcohol dripped down his chin.

"No, but seriously you guys," he glanced at Kenny before looking down at his fingers and cracking them, "I'm planning on making him mine."

"Yours?" Clyde repeated, "Isn't he yours already? You guys have been dating for 5 years. That's like...half a century, I think."

"Decade." Kenny corrected and wiped the alcohol off his chin. He smirked at Cartman, "Do you guys role play?"

Cartman nearly choked on his breath, "Uh, what?"

"When you guys wanna spice shit up," Kenny walked over to the bottle of scotch and poured himself a refill, "Do you guys do it?"

"Sometimes," it wasn't really a lie but really close to it. Cartman and Kyle didn't find the need to role play, they were well over happy to continue what they were doing. Each time they had sex it was like their first time all over again. Skin lingering, wanting oh so desperately to be touched, breath quickening and hearts ready to beat out their chest.

They 'role played' twice. One by accident but both unplanned. The first time, Kyle came home with a horrible backache. He was kneeling over the lab table the entire day, working up different types of chemicals, trying to find the perfect effect. Cartman was in a bad mood too, because his professor was being such a fucking bitch and he had to constantly remind himself that if he wanted to pass the semester he had to suck it all up. So when Kyle came home, he immediately groaned when he had to stand up straight to reach Cartman's height to kiss him. So, seeing how much he was in pain, Cartman whipped out the body oil and massaged his naked back. And it was soothing, cause Cartman got to touch Kyle's nude, soft, oiled up skin, and Kyle got to enjoy those firm hands digging deep, massaging those painfully sore areas until he moaned. And the second he moaned, Cartman's dick twitched cause fuck, Kyle's moaning ringing through his ears was pure goddamn heaven to him. And he got a little overwhelmed and Kyle felt it. So the cheeky bastard told him to go lower, but his goddamn jeans on Cartman's hands started to hurt because of the fabric. But also, he wanted desperately to roam his hands on those perked cheeks of his. He had the best ass out of anyone in the world, they were small but plump and squishy, and looked so fucking delicate without anything on. And when he couldn't hide his frustration, he asked, but it sounded more like a demand, for Kyle to take his pants off. And Kyle moaned and said, Mmm, why don't you do it for me, Eric? And fuck, his name in his mouth sounded so goddamn sinful. So he flipped Kyle over, harshly, and tore off his pants, barely unbuckling his belt and sure as hell breaking the button. And then he palmed him through his briefs, and Kyle asked, with a god damn fake innocent accent, Babe, what about my massage?

And Cartman completely lost it and fucked him long and hard like there was no tomorrow.

The second time, Kyle was cooking. Despite popular belief, Cartman couldn't cook as well as Kyle, which was no problem for either of them as Cartman loved being served and Kyle loved cooking. But Kyle wasn't cooking for them, but a blood drive fundraiser him and Wendy were doing, Wendy was in charge of collecting the blood while he was in charge of cooking homemade chocolate bars for the donors after they donate.

Cartman was sitting on the kitchen counter making mindless small talk while watching Kyle stir up the liquid chocolate goodness in the pot. Kyle lowered the heat from under the pot and took a wooden spoon and collected a small amount of the liquid. He asked if Cartman wanted to taste and sure enough, he did. So when he spoon fed him the dish, it was fucking delicious. The liquid was hot but that was the best part, as it burned his tongue, he could only taste the sweet flavor and numbness in his tongue. He licked his lips and jumped off the counter and mimicked the same action for Kyle. But the window was open and the cold breeze made Cartman shiver, so his hands started shaking and he spilled the liquid on Kyle's chest. All the napkins ran out and Kyle refused scooping it off with his hands so Cartman rolled his eyes and leaned forward and slowly licked it off his chest. Something about it being on Kyle's radiating pale skin made it only sweeter. And he look up at Kyle who was blushing madly. So Cartman smirked and imitated a cocky accent, Mhmm his soft wet and pink tongue licked his dry plumped pink lips, tasty. And Kyle locked eyes with him and knew exactly what Cartman was implying but he wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of seeing him all flustered and moaning his name, ignoring the fact that they've been dating for 3+ years. So Kyle shoved Cartman onto the kitchen counter and Cartman winced and started yelling about the pain. He ripped off Cartman's shirt, much to his dismay, and accidentally spilled some of the chocolate liquid all over his chest. He slowly licked off the liquid as Cartman lowly groaned. Kyle traced his tongue over to Cartman's hard pink nipple and twirled it around his tongue before grazing his teeth over it and sucking lightly, driving Cartman completely mad with lust.

"What kind?" Kenny's voice snapped Cartman back to reality, Jesus he's been dating Kyle for five years now and he still thinks about him like he's still in the fourth grade, laying down on his bed and thinking about all the sexual fantasies between them. Only difference now was that they're real.

Cartman shrugged, "Cops."

Kenny rolled his eyes, "Dude, that's such a cliché."

"Seriously." Clyde agreed.

"Of course it's a fucking cliche, you have to be creative." He thought for a minute, "Who's the dominant one?"

Kenny's ear perked up, "Like in sex?"

Cartman nodded.

He shrugged, "I don't know, we've never had sex."

Cartman stared at him, his brown pupils dilating to a bigger size as his eyebrows furrowed, nearly connecting each other. He pursed his lips while Clyde choked on his sip of the alcoholic substance.

"Wait, what?"

Kenny shrugged and gave him a stretched out half smile as his eyes looked the other way.

Cartman and Clyde looked at each other in disbelief. Kenny, the old town whore who fucked the whole football team at once never had sex with his own god damn husband? It seemed so unbelievable and not to mention fucking weird as hell. Hell, he's pretty sure even Clyde got a hit. He wouldn't be surprised if all those nights that Kenny would stay with them, he would sneak off into Clyde's room and crawl under the covers and blow him.

"How the fuck is that possible?" He paused, "Didn't you say he was withholding sex from you?"

"Yea," Kenny nodded, "He took all my porn mags and put parental block on my phone."

"He put parental block on your phone?" Clyde snickered.

Kenny ignored him and watched Cartman close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation.

"Are you seriously?"

"Hmm?"

"You guys never had sex, he puts parental block on your phone, takes away your porn magazines...you don't think these are all hints?"

Clyde nodded in agreement, "He's practically begging for you to fuck him."

Kenny stared at them before his eyes widened and he made an oh sound. "Well, fuck." He said in unison.

"You're such a fucking idiot." Cartman said as he shook his head disapprovingly.


	4. The Cure

Kyle drummed his slim fingers on the metal table, he watched as Stan clicked his tongue and tap his feet to the cold floor.  
They were in the laboratory, waiting for to show up. The only noise that surrounded the two long term best friends were their breathing and the tapping off hard medal.  
"Do you think he'll show?" Stan asked, as softly as he could, delicate to not disturb the peace too much.  
"Of course," Kyle straightened, "He has to show, this discovery could change history as we know it."  
Stan exhaled through his nose as he rested his elbow on a medal table and placed his jaw on his fist, "He's taking a long time to show."  
Kyle nodded in agreement. Finally, there was a knock on the door. Kyle and Stan both gave each other a look as they walked over to the door. They unlocked the door and opened it, suspecting to see the elder wrinkly white man.  
Instead, there was a teenager, with horrible acne and carrying a greasy pizza box. "Did you guys order a pizza?" His voice was squeaky, it was obvious that he was a late bloomer.  
"Stan!" Kyle shot a glare at Stan, they were supposed to be looking professional and ready to talk about business when showed up. He didn't even want to imagine how they'd look like with pizza stains all over their lab coat.  
"I was hungry." Stan answered, sheepishly. He pulled out his brown leather wallet, "How much?"  
"$7.28"  
Stan handed him a wrinkled $10 bill, "Keep the change." He said as the teenager handed him the pizza. He closed the door and nudged Kyle with the corner of the pizza box. "Dude, cmon don't be mad."  
Kyle crossed his arms, "We have to be prepared when shows up and having pizza stained lab coats doesn't send the right impression."  
"Dude, a slice wouldn't kill anyone." He grinned and opened the pizza box, "I got your favorite~"  
The box was opened to have golden cheese spilling over the red tomato sauce. On top of it laid several slices of pineapple and green bell peppers.  
Kyle rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile. It was so damn corny but thoughtful that Stan was able to mesmerize his favorite pizza toppings and order a large pie, despite the fact that he preferred plain cheese or vegetable. "Fine." He said, and grabbed for a slice. The cheese string stretched before finally breaking apart the second he bring it up to his lips. He takes a bite and the taste overwhelms his taste buds.  
"Pretty good, right?"  
Kyle nodded, wordlessly, before taking another bite.  
They ate in silence, Kyle's mind drifted off into a fantasy. He thought about the cure, and what he'd wear to the many hospitals he'd visit with sick kids while holding the cure. He thought about the sick kids giving him weak smiles and maybe hugs, before Kyle handed the cure to the head Doctor. He thought about the newspapers that labeled his name, front to back and between. He envisioned large stacks of money being mailed to him and Cartman throwing the money in the air while dancing to the classical songs of Lady Gaga. He'd glance at him and smile, before returning his eyes to the many letters from the now cured children.  
All the letters would say something along the lines of _Thank you, !_ Or _God answered my prayers when he made you._  
The knock from the door quickly alarmed Kyle as he quickly averted his eyes to the door and abandoned his pizza back in the pizza box. He dusted his hands off with his jeans and fixed his lab coat before opening the door.  
There, was an elderly obese man in a wheelchair, " ?" A tan man stood behind the wheel chair, he stared at Kyle, his eyes were friendly enough.  
Kyle nodded, smiling brightly, "Yes, hello Mephesto." He opened the door wider for the pair to enter, "Please, come in."  
The tan man pushed the elder inside the lab without a problem.  
"Thank you, ." He gave him a weak smile, "But please just call me Mephesto."  
"Alright then," Kyle couldn't contain his grin as he fixed his tie, "In that case, please call me Kyle." He gestured at the ravenette to come to his side.  
Stan speed walked next to him and hid his arms, elbows down, behind his back as he gave the pair a professional stare. It was more like an observing stare, as if he were studying the pair. But a greeting, no less.  
"This is my partner, ." Stan lifted his hand out to the elder, who graciously accepted and gave him a firm handshake.  
The elder man crossed his arms and rested it on his lap, "When I got a call from you, Dr- _Kyle_ , I was in immediate shock that you were interested in the rare disease known as Hemophilia." He rested his elbow on the armrest and cupped his jaw, "What sparked your interest?"  
"My brother was diagnosed with it at a very young age." He forced his voice to stay calm. Jesus, he's practiced saying everything in the mirror before and now that he's faced with the real deal, his mind was going blank.  
"I see," he tapped his saggy chin, "And is it common in the family?"  
"No, of course not. My brother is adopted."  
Mephisto raised his eyebrows as if he were surprised, he crossed his hands, "Ah, very interesting, Kyle." He gazed at his surroundings, "Do you wish to get started?"  
Kyle nodded, "Of course, Mephesto."  
"Very well," he twisted his head to the tan man's direction, "Kevin, please unpack the suitcase."  
Kyle hadn't even realized the nearly bald man carried a small miniature suitcase. He placed it on the metal table and unzipped it, there he took out blood samples all labeled very sloppily. He took out jars that all had different types of goo in them.  
Stan held in his vomit as he saw a jar he's all too familiar with, considering Wendy encouraged Stan to donate his sperm to the couples that couldn't have a baby.  
But it didn't bother Kyle one bit, he liked admiring things that would soon be the ingredient of something bigger. Kinda like being a kid and eyeing the ingredients sitting on the counter as your mom mixed it all in together, resulting in a big brown chocolate cake.  
"What types of chemicals do you own?" Mephesto asked when all the equipments were set, scattered, on the table.  
"Many, " Kyle started, he thought off all the chemicals he had currently in the lab. Most of the chemicals were hazardous to begin with, but he trusted that the elder knew exactly what he was doing. "Biotoxins, Acrylonitrile," he paused, realizing he couldn't possibly memorize all the chemicals, the words were so unnecessarily long. "We have many more, I just can't name all of them at the top of my head." He smiled at the elder, hoping he'll think it's a little joke but the man doesn't smile, he just studies the genetic mutations all trapped in jars. "Bring me all of the chemicals."  
"All of it?" Stan said, in bewilderment. "Sir, you must understand that most of the chemicals in the lab are dangerously hazardous, and some are even under-"  
"Do you not trust me, ?" His eyes searched the ravenette's blue ones.  
Stan pursed his lips, he knew he needed the promotion. And if things go right this will give him a fat paycheck in the end but what this old man was demanding was completely bonkers. They needed to have precautions, they didn't even know this man on a personal level, he could ruin things with his and Kyle's lab, not to mention ruin their career.  
He felt a small hand clamp around his arm, he looked to see Kyle with pleading eyes. He grunted lowly as he looked at the elder man, "Of course." He said in a growl.  
The elder raised his eyebrows at the pair, he stayed like that for a few seconds before speaking, "Doesn't it get...awkward?"  
Kyle raised an eyebrow, "Pardon?"  
"You know, being very close partners in the same career while maintaining a healthy relationship."  
Stan stared at him, "...Huh?"  
"I've never really approved of coworkers dating each other, but I suppose I could let it sl-"  
"Hold on there." Kyle said, "Stan's not my boyfriend."  
The man stared at him in bewilderment, as if he had just heard that Kyle has an unformed twin attached to his body, "But...the intimacy when you touched him and the way you were able to compel him to trust me just by looking at him." He shook his head, "You boys have to be dating."  
Kyle stifled a laugh, "He's like my brother. Of course we're very close but nothing near a romantic relationship."  
"Yes," Stan agreed, "Besides, he already has someone to make the bed rock."  
Kyle blushed as he nudged Stan's arm, "Dude, be professional."  
He just winked at the smaller boy.  
"Oh." Mephesto looked relieved, "Very well then. If you could please get me every chemical you have in the lab."  
Kyle nodded at Stan, Stan walked over to the walk in closet and the corner of the room and slipped on a pair of gloves. He grabbed a bottle of a hot green liquid and another bottle of a yellow substance, he carried each of them by the neck as he placed it on the medal table.  
"Might I ask," Kyle straightened, "What you are planning to do with the chemicals?"  
"I am going to combine it with the mutations I have already prepared, " he gestured at his jars, "If my calculations are correct it will form a liquid that is dangerously poisonous if it is not placed in freezer overnight. After that, it will form into a hard rock like form."  
Kyle nodded in understandment, "I can't thank you enough for helping us, Mephesto." He smiled, "What percentage of the money do you desire to acquire yourself with?"  
The man waved him off, "Please, I don't do anything for money nor fame. I do it out of the kindness of my heart."


	5. Unfortunate

The remaining time of the party was spent with Liane sitting on Roger's lap as she joyously watched Clyde, Kenny, and Cartman make stupid jokes and laugh. The party was cut short when Kenny said he and Cartman were gonna go see the Lakers, he gave Clyde a wink, Roger a firm handshake, and Liane a soft peck on the cheek.  
The game was long and boring, and Cartman was ready to end the day with him crawling inside his bed and watching Netflix while munching on cheesy poofs. But Kenny was too into the game, and he wasn't about to let Cartman leave so early after spending $30 on the tickets. So they sat there, Kenny cheering and Cartman looking down at his phone or just looking at the audiences.  
When it was finally over and they both climbed into Kenny's car(cause Kenny had picked up Cartman before he could inform him they'd meet up) it wouldn't start.  
"Kinny," Cartman voice trailed with anger, "Why the fuck isn't it moving?"  
Kenny was biting his bottom lip, "I...don't know." He mumbled as he repeatedly twisted his key, hearing the engine resurrect and die at the same minute.  
He took a quick glance at the fuel detector on the car, he nearly screamed the roof off when it had pointed to Empty, "KINNY, WHAT THE FUCK!?"  
Kenny flinched at the sound of his raised voice, "Dude..." He looked at Cartman, "Guess we'll be walking."  
The brunette stared at him in disbelief, "Walking?"  
"C'mon, Cartman, you need the exercise anyways."  
He glared at him as Kenny chuckled, "Fuck you, white trash."  
"Dude, I'm sorry, I guess I forgot to refill." He opened the car door and got out, "Want me to open the door for you, your majesty?" He asked with a playful smirk.  
Cartman shook his head, "Fuck you," he grumbled as he got out the car and slammed the car door close.  
Kenny raced up next to Cartman, "Dude, don't worry, I know the place back home."  
"Home?" They began walking now, Cartman with his hands shoved in his pockets and Kenny's with his swinging to the wind. "Who's place are we going to?"  
"I mean, I got a shit ton of lube at my place." He winked at Cartman who rolled his eyes.  
"But you never use it on Craig."  
Kenny shrugged, "I don't know, he just seems like the type to not like sex."  
"Like those whiny stupid virgins who go around saying they hate sex and shit?"  
Kenny stifled a giggle, "You mean asexuals?"  
"There's a name for it now!?"  
"Apparently." He scratched his neck with his index finger, "The game was fucking awesome, man."  
"Dude, the Denver Nuggets suck ass."  
"Then why'd you go?"  
"Cause I knew your ass was going to start bitching." He grumbled, he focused on his surroundings, They were under a tunnel, merely a few miles away from Kenny's house. He didn't question why Kenny took this path, maybe it was a shortcut. He lived in a decent home, it wasn't as good as Cartman's place, but somewhat close. Kenny didn't go to college, he didn't want to be faced with the struggles of paying off his student debts until he died. So he scrapped up enough money to buy his own bar. Of course, it wasn't very popular but it did fairly well. Every Sunday the boys would just come in and have drinks and just talk. Kenny was always working, because unlike him, Craig went to school. So he was paying half of Craig's student loans by his bar.  
Craig had a childhood friend, Jimmy, who was handicap. Because of Jimmy, Craig sparked an interest for people with physical disabilities, so he was studying to be a physical therapist. He was going to grad school in a few weeks, somewhere near the same time as Cartman. He hasn't really heard much from Craig, the last time they saw each other they were at Kenny's bar, and he managed to get drunk and start dancing with his ex boyfriend, Tweek. The boys eyes nearly popped out of their skulls that day as they stared at Kenny, expecting him to pull Tweek off of Craig. But instead Kenny wiped a cup with a washcloth and chuckled as he shook his head. No one would've ever thought twice that the two polar opposite boys were married, they'd be surprised just to find out they knew each other. But that didn't bother Kenny, come to think of it, nothing bothered Kenny. He was always happy and rarely ever got mad. It was weird that he was so optimistic, because he wasn't gullible like Butters, just...really chill. Cartman couldn't decided whether that was a bad thing or good thing.  
"You do that a lot." Kenny commented breaking Cartman's trance as his eyes shifting between Cartman and his shirt.  
"Do what?"  
"That thing you do, when you're in such deep thought."  
"Oh, daydreaming?"  
"Yea,"Kenny nodded, "It's a habit for you."  
Cartman shrugged, "Keeps me entertained."  
Kenny rolled his eyes, "It leaves me-" Before Kenny could finish his sentence, there was a shattering sound as he fell swung his hips a few times before falling face first to the ground.  
Cartman stared at the back of Kenny's bleeding head and the glass scattered on his scalp. His heart raced as he slowly turned around to see who had caused this disaster. But before he could fully turn around, his chest was slammed into the ground, he could feel the small shard of glass poking his chest as he struggled to breathe as a heavy weight laid on his back. "What the fuck?" He choked out.  
"Hello, _Eric_."  
Cartman's blood ran cold as the greeting was whispered in his ear. He knew who owned the voice, and he bit his bottom lip as he barked out the name, " _Scott_."  
"Aww, after all these years you still recognize my voice?" He grabbed a fistful of Cartman's hair and pushed it deeper into the ground, "That's so sweet." His other hand grabbed a hold of Cartman's wrist as his knees dug deep into the back of Cartman's thighs.  
"Get the fuck off me you ginger piece of shit."  
"I don't like your attitude, fat boy." He released his grip on his wrists and pulled out handcuffs and handcuffed Cartman's wrist together.  
Cartman squirmed uncomfortably under his body weight, "Let me go before I fucking beat the shit out of you."  
Scott laughed hysterically, "Do you really think you're in control anymore?"  
Cartman heard a switch and felt a cold sharp metal training down his neck. He shivered at the foreign feeling, "The fuck do you want?"  
"I want to give you a taste of your own medicine." He kneeled closer to Cartman until his chest was aligned to his back, and his hips were on Cartman's ass, "Do you remember the horrible shit you did to them?"  
Cartman stayed silent as he turned his head to look at Kenny, who was full out unconscious and he hoped the dumb blonde would hurry up and wake up. He felt the cold metal poke his back, digging deep until the warm droplets of blood spilled out. "Answer me, goddamn it!"  
Cartman clenched his teeth, "I didn't do shit to them."  
Scott grabbed a hold of his brown locks and pushed him deeper to the ground, "You really wanna play the innocent card now?"  
He was sure he was going to get a bruise, "I didn't force them to get in a goddamn death battle, I just wanted to know who my goddamn traitor dad was." _Big fucking mistake too._  
"Bullshit," he breathed out, "If that was the case, you would've never went up to him."  
"I wanted to fucking talk, that's it!"  
Scott hummed, he didn't believe him. He moved the knife down to his chubby brother's forearm and pressed it against the skin and started penetrating the flesh.  
"Stop!" He yelled, he felt the tears burning his eyes.  
Scott chuckled, "You still think you're in control, fat boy?"  
"The fuck are you planning to do?"  
"I'm going to hurt you until you're just begging me to end your miserable, worthless life." He placed his hand on Cartman's scalp and squeezed, letting his sharp fingernails dig deep in enough to create a series of scabs. He leaned in close to his ear, letting his breath tickle Cartman's ear, "And only then will I be generous enough to actually put you out of your fucking misery."


End file.
